


never too much for baked goods

by randomtuna13 (belindarimbi13)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Canon Compliant, Good Omens 30th Anniversary, Good Omens Lockdown, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:28:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23951566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belindarimbi13/pseuds/randomtuna13
Summary: It's quarantine lockdown and Aziraphale baked.#StayAtHomeChallenge
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40
Collections: #StayAtHomeChallenge, Good Omens Lockdown fics





	never too much for baked goods

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer & Note:**
> 
>   * Good Omens is a novel by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gailman, adapted into a TV series by the BBC and Amazon Prime and directed by Douglas MacKinnon.
> 
> 

>   * The author does not take any material profit by writing this fanfiction.
> 
> 

>   * This was also submitted as an entry for Aya Kaizumi's **#StayAtHomeChallenge**.
> 
> 


"Cupcakes are just muffins that believe in miracles."

Aziraphale thought to himself as he put the last heart frosting on his baked goods. Of course, he would never make a ridiculous comment like that. It's Crowley's jokes, making something funny out of everything. He could almost hear the demon said it right now. Maybe some lines along, _"some only dream of cupcakes_ _but others_ _bake it happens!"_

Well, Aziraphale was no Crowley, so excuse him.

In fact, he did _'bake it'_ happen. Turned out, once you figured out how oven and other kitchen utensils work, baking was just an art of cooking. Besides, books really helped. A lot. He already knew the basic—[good thing that Penelope inspired him to make cookies for Crowley](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22004749), or else he would never learn. The experimental baking? It was just a piece of cake ~~(pun intended)~~.

He had already tried to bake many types of cakes. There was never too much for cakes, everyone knows that. Aziraphale got peckish every single time, much more when the city had applied lockdown protocol and commanded people to stay at home for self-quarantine. Aziraphale was an angel and although he could not get sick from human disease, he would never disobey important rules like this.

And baking too much cakes really helped! Not only he could spend times in another activity that he loved, they could also prevent burglary. Funny how things worked, eh.

Crowley would laugh if he knew he made the burglars went home with so many baked goods instead of his safe box.

Oh, how much Aziraphale missed Crowley during this quarantine.

They've been in contact, sure. They've talked and phoned each other, yes. But, they're also simultaneously tiptoeing around the giant elephant in the room.

_Is seven calls per day too much?_

One might say, yes.

Another might say, no.

And Aziraphale while staring at his 30 cupcakes he just made, couldn't say which side he was.

He lov— _liked_ talking to Crowley.

He mis— _liked_ Crowley's presence in his bookshop.

He wan—nee— _liked_ to ask Crowley how was he doing, so he could get updated.

It didn't mean anything, right? That was just friends checking on each other during the lockdown. The act was very, very advised to do in every media. There might be physical distance, but there shouldn't be social distance. We can always be social with our acquaintance via phones or internet or anything that doesn't require physical contact.

So, if he was about to call Crowley, he was simply... following the rules.

Okay?

Great, it had been established then.

  
  


♪

  
  


"What?"

Aziraphale was familiar with the tone. Crowley sounded annoyed. Maybe it was wrong decision to call him at the middle of... afternoon. Maybe Aziraphale was bothering him... maybe Crowley was busy doing something else... or maybe—

"Uh…," Aziraphale cleared his throat. "Hello, it’s me!"

"I know it’s you, Aziraphale." Aziraphale smiled. Of course Crowley knew. The demon probably rolled his eyes as he was speaking.

"Yes, well, I was just calling to see how you were doing in lockdown."

The demon groaned.

"I’m bored. I’m so, very, _very_ bored Transcendentally bored. There’s nothing to do here."

Aziraphale could almost picture the demon pacing around the house, looking for something to do.

"I’ve decided, that if I can’t think of anything to do in the next two days, I’m going to have a nap and I’ll set the alarm clock for June. It’s got to be all over by June, isn’t it?"

 _June? Crowley was also obeying the protocol about staying at home during the_ _l_ _ockdown?_

"Look, if this isn’t a silly question," he could Crowley scoffed. "oughtn’t you to be out and about, doing things?"

"Out and about? When we’re all meant to be staying home?"

"Well, yes. You’re a demon, you’ve got a job to do. Obviously, you’re not actually going to get ill, or even spread a disease, but you could set a bad example. Get ominously close to people. Tell everyone there’s a party going on or… something."

Aziraphale didn't think Crowley was capable to be that cruel. Spreading viruses! How horrible! And bit condescending, if you ask Aziraphale. Crowley was the bringer of chaos, not disease. He was a demon not stupid people trying to be anti-vaxxers.

"I… I could do that," Aziraphale heard him coughed awkwardly. He was also familiar with that. Crowley did it to hide his embarrassment. "I mean I could. But if I did… well… people might follow my bad example and get ill. Or even die."

 _Oh, Crowley!_ For some reason, Aziraphale thought back to his last cupcake. With a heart frosting.

"And I know I ought to be making people’s lives even worse but everyone’s so miserable cooped up anyway I just… don’t have the heart for it."

That was just wrong. "I’m not miserable."

"Really?" Crowley let out sound akin to strained laugh. "Oh, I suppose you’re off nipping around London doing miracles for people, from a socially approved distance."

"Oh no, I can’t do that," Aziraphale quickly objected. "We’re all meant to stay at home. I put up the closed sign on the window and I’ve been catching up on my reading. Do you know, I’ve never had so few customers, not in 200 years. Although, there were a few young lads a couple of nights ago, broke in through the back, and tried to steal the cash box. But they soon saw the error of their ways."

Crowley sounded amused. "Did you smite them with your wroth?"

"Well I certainly gave them a good talking to." He was very proud of himself. He had read a book from a woman named Marie Kondo the other days and yes, burglary and robbery did not spark joy. "And I sent each of them home with cake."

There's a stunned silence.

"Cake."

"Quite a lot of cake, actually." And Marie Kondo would agree that _quite a lot of_ _cake_ very much sparked joy.

"I… I’m going to regret asking but… uh—"

"Well, all the restaurants and cafes are closed, but it turns out I have a whole cookbook section here in the bookshop. And I got peckish. I’ve now made bundt cake, sponge cake, angel’s food cake, four different kinds of sourdough loaf, Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte, although I had to miracle in the cherries. And then, once I’ve baked them, I have to eat them all myself. Which was why I was so delighted…"

He wanted to tell Crowley how he often thought about him when he baked. Crowley was never much eater and he was bad food tester. But he could make tons of jokes out of cakes Aziraphale baked.

But, he didn't tell the demon that.

"To send your burglars home laden with baked goods," Crowley wheezed. "Yes. Of course you would do that, angel."

Aziraphale liked how Crowley called him, angel. Because it didn't sound like an insult, curse, or bad things.

Aziraphale wanted to tell him about the cupcakes. He wanted to tell Crowley about many things. Did Crowley know apparently he got first edition of Ian Fleming's lying around under the copy of Mayan Calendar Interpretation? Did Crowley like his strawberry frosting or he much prefer the blueberry one?

"I thought…"

"Yes?"

"You know, I could hunker down at your place. Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle, a case, of something drinkable."

Crowley? Here in his bookshop? Doing what they have been doing for years in Ritz? During the lockdown, away from prying eyes, with privilege of privacy?

It's almost too much. "No, I… I… I… I’m afraid that would be breaking all the rules. Out of the question! I’ll see you… when… this is over?

There's a long pause and Aziraphale thought Crowley would hang up. Until the demon spoke again. And Aziraphale didn't miss his slightly changed tone.

"Right. Um.. I’m setting the alarm clock for July. Goodnight, angel."

 _July?_ "Wait—"

"What?"

"I wouldn't be able to talk to you until July? That's..."— _unbearable, impossible, too much, out of question_ —"...great."

"Okay, wake me up when July ends." Crowley ended with a sing-song

"I'm not familiar with that tone."

"Doesn't matter, night, ang—"

"Crowley, wear masks."

"Huh?"

"If you were about to visit, wear masks. And be careful. Bring hand sanitizer in case you're touching something in your way here."

"I thought I couldn't—"

"Yeah, well, I make cupcakes—"

"Absolutely muffin!"

Aziraphale laughed. He knew Crowley would say something like that.

"And if you just want to come and watch me eat, it's not worth it. My cupcakes are to enjoy."

He couldn't pinpoint the sounds across the phone, but he could tell Crowley was already on the move.

"I'm so baked right now!"

Aziraphale couldn't help the smugness. "As you should be."

"Totally bake my day."

"You can stop now—"

"But, Angel! Some days you eat salad and go to the gym, some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to wear knickers. It’s called balance!"

"I don't eat salads nor go to gym. You know that. And what is it about wearing knickers? You wear them, don't you, Crowley?"

"Will it be as good as your cookies, angel?"

"I assure you, my cupcakes are amazing if I say so myself. Now, why wouldn't you answer me, you do wear knickers, do you, Crowley?"

"Can't hear, there is frosting on my ears!"

"What do you mean? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course, I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"You're talking about frosting on your ears!"

"Is it the right time to ring the bell?"

"What?"

And as Aziraphale turned his head, there the demon was. Wearing a black mask (a complement to his signature sunglasses) and holding a bag of champagne. Waving excitedly as if they haven't seen each other for years. It was not that long but seemed like it.

And when Aziraphale opened the door, like straight out from Agnes Nutter's book of prophecies, Crowley said,

"Cupcakes are just muffins that believe in miracles, some only dream of cupcakes—others bake it happen." Aziraphale beamed and let the demon in. "Now, miracle worker, where are your works?"

Eventually, Aziraphale would have told Crowley that travelling even to just visit friends are not advised during Lockdown. And the ideas of the demon breaking the rules was very much frowned upon. But right now, while Aziraphale was about to show off his cupcakes, and the demon was present to witness the greatness of his baking—Aziraphale could only think one thing.

At least, Crowley wore masks and drove his own Bentley.

~~And stay at home protocol didn't specify which or whose home to stay, right?~~

**• fin •**

**Author's Note:**

> > This fic happens because Neil and the whole gang decide to celebrate the 30th anniversary of Good Omens by releasing **[the video that kills us all](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quSXoj8Kob0&feature=share&fbclid=IwAR1GDGKesdR-rvEqlkej5pMV4g2Kb5ISO8fg0-VzLF2G7kVS3EMKSOVGTUQ&app=desktop)**.
>> 
>> This fic wouldn't happen without the great help of amazing people in Tumblr who shared **[the Good Omens Lockdown transcriptions](https://letslipthehounds.tumblr.com/post/616916663562092544/good-omens-lockdown-transcript)**. Thank you, I wouldn't understand what is this all about if it isn't for you guys.
>> 
>> Thank you for **Aya Kaizumi** , with your great challenge. You're doing a great job to provide a way to help during this hard time.
> 
> Also, can't even begin my gratitude that my bestie, Atsui shared the link with me in the first place. Not only you make me feel much better. You apparently make me writing another fic. Holy shit, you are miracle worker. Thank you.
> 
> ~~PS. this is not fix-it fic because I think the canon is already beautiful. I just can't help myself.~~
> 
> For you, all people who read this, thank you. Don't forget to take care of yourself, get hydrated, don't forget to wash your hands, stay safe. We all are in this together 💙


End file.
